How I Can Help Others Find Belonging in Christ's Church

My personal thoughts and commitment to learning how to better support and minister to out LGBTQ loved ones.

This semester, I had the opportunity to research and compile a transitional project on a gender issue of my choice. I noticed a lack of unity within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints regarding gender and gender identity. Because of this, not everyone feels a sense of belonging in Christ’s church and that didn't sit well with my soul, so I chose to focus my study on this topic. Now before we can have a discussion and share our inner most thoughts and beliefs, we have to be let go of defnsively listening. You may already feel a defence mechanism kicking in from what I have said in this short paragraph. If I may offer a suggestion, let yourself stay in the uncomfortable. It's good for you. Sit with this feeling and acknowlledge it without a label of good or bad. I aim to build confidence in situations that remain unsettling. There are many scenarios I could ignore or avoid to maintain my comfort, as they haven't directly impacted me. However, I do not subscribe to a doctrine of ignorance, nor do I believe we can remain neutral indefinitely. My whole desire to embrace discomfort came after I went to a Ben Shilaty devotion on this very topic. I left feeling physically week and overwhelmed as his words pierced my soul, but also seemed to have no place in my head to fit. It did not fit with my current understanding, I had to do the uncomfortable to grow. I wanted to be able to engage in informed and understanding conversations with friends, family, or my future children as issues arise. I've been studying gender to develop empathy for situations outside my reality. I believe this stems from a deeper understanding and awareness of the effects of our actions, which is the purpose of this website.

If you don’t walk as most people do, Some people walk away from you, But I won’t! I won’t! If you don’t talk as most people do, Some people talk and laugh at you, But I won’t! I won’t!

I’ll walk with you. I’ll talk with you. That’s how I’ll show my love for you.

Jesus walked away from none. He gave his love to ev’ryone. So I will! I will! Jesus blessed all he could see, Then turned and said, “Come, follow me.” And I will! I will! I will! I will!

I’ll walk with you. I’ll talk with you. That’s how I’ll show my love for you.

(Pearson & Nibley, 1939)

Under "My Study" you can find a page dedicated to my research and pointing you to some inspired resources. As you read through my study I wanted to share my personal thoughts on the matter. One premise of my study is that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is Christ's church here on the earth. I know these things are true because, like prophets of old, they are " made known unto me by the Holy Spirit of God. Behold, I have fasted and prayed many days that I might know these things of myself. And now I do know of myself that they are true; for the Lord God hath made them manifest unto me by his Holy Spirit" (Alma 5:46). The introduction of the Book of Mormon invites all to read the book, ponder it's message, and pray and ask their Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus Christ that these things are true. I know that these things are true and just like the introduction says, " Those who gain this divine witness from the Holy Spirit will also come to know by the same power that Jesus Christ is the Savior of the world, that Joseph Smith is His revelator and prophet in these last days, and that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the Lord’s kingdom once again established on the earth, preparatory to the Second Coming of the Messiah" (introduction to the Book of Mormon).

With all that being said, I recognize that there are numerous disciples of Jesus Christ worldwide who sense his love and light in various places. There are many religious communities from which I believe we can learn and enhance my own faith. I think everyone's journey of discipleship will be unique, and I honor and celebrate any step that aids others in coming unto Christ. He truly is the Way, the Truth, and the Light. My study can be applied to any religious community and is particularly pertinent to conservative Christian religions. My main scholarly article, “I’ll Walk with You”: LGBTQ+ Individuals and Religious Belonging, was based on individuals currently or previously affiliated with the Church. All other sources pertained to Christianity in general or the LGBTQ community as a whole.

The rule forever is that it has to reflect our religious beliefs and our gospel commitments. Therefore, how we respond in any situations has to make things better, not worse. We have to live standards and defend [commandments] in a righteous way to the best of our ability, the way the Savior lived and defended them. We start, above all, by remembering [they are] a child of God and of eternal worth. We start by being grateful [they] are at a church activity, not avoiding one. We keep praying silently: What is the right thing to do here? And what is the right thing to say? What ultimately will make this situation and them better?  Our compassion and our love - fundamental characteristics and requirements of our Christianity- must never be interpreted as compromising the commandments. In [some] situations you are going to have to explain sensitively why some principles are defended and some sins opposed wherever they are found because the issues and the laws involved are not just social or political but eternal in their consequence. And while not wishing to offend those who believe differently from us, we are even more anxious not to offend God (Holland, 2014). 

I understand that the study and belonging practices outlined on my page might not apply to every situation and could even cause discomfort for church leaders and members. I urge you to consider inclusivity and explore ways to enhance the church culture to genuinely engage with those who feel different. I believe that ministering to LGBTQ+ individuals could significantly improve if all members recognized that being LGBTQ+ within a conservative religion can often be a lonely and challenging experience, as highlighted on my page. Ministering efforts should prioritize building friendships and supporting others in their struggles, rather than pursuing hidden agendas to change individuals or boost Church membership.

Previously, I have struggled with balancing my beliefs and showing love to individuals. Through my research, I found that safety symbols made me uneasy. I understood their importance for others, but I wanted to focus on supporting people rather than practices. One suggestion I discovered was wearing a necklace that says, "I'll walk with you," which could serve as a safety symbol. It's possible to engage in these practices while staying true to oneself. Another effort I plan to make is to seek out individuals who may feel out of place in church and ensure they feel welcomed. Indifference, not hate, is the opposite of love. Lastly, I intend to stand up and speak out against any false or harmful statements about marginalized groups, including LGBTQ. The actions we take in private are the most significant, even when no one is there to witness them.

We all need social support to flourish. We need supportive friends and family, where we feel freedom to be ourselves. More than anything else from my studies, I have been able to recognize that this is hard. Really truely hard for individuals. And I don't have to fully understand before I do anything. I think some are frozen by needing to first intellectually grasp everything, and others are just too scared to deal with these hard topics. I don't know all things, but I know God loves his children. I hope that the experiences shared and personal exploration of all the sources shared will free the good hearts of those who need to intellectually understand and builds courage to help those who walk alone. They don't need us to give answers to these hard questions. I can't give answers. I can let them know they are not a burden atleast to me.

References

Holland, E. J. R. (2012, January 1). Israel, Israel, god is calling. Homepage - The Church of Jesus Christ

of Latter-day Saints. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/broadcasts/article/ces-devotionals/2012/01/israel-israel-god-is-calling?lang=eng

Pearson, C. L., & Nibley, R. N. (1939). I’ll walk with you. Homepage - The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-

day Saints. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/childrens-songbook/ill-walk-with-you?lang=eng

Rogers, A. (2024). Gender Development in Families. Provo, Utah ; Brigham Young University.