Is Everyone Truly Welcome in The Church?
God is Love, "and he inviteth them all to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that come unto him" ( 2 Nephi 26:33). In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, everyone is welcome and invited because this aligns with our core belief that Jesus Christ welcomes all people to come unto him. We are often encouraged “to love LGBTQ members.”
What do you think that looks like in practice? Think of an experience when you have felt loved and supported by Church members or leaders. Many sexual minorities are not having these supporting and loving experiences. Understanding experiences outside our own can help us all find belonging in Christ's Church. The purpose of this page is to create empathy for marginalized groups outside of the main stream experience and invite each of us to critically think about how we treat people within these groups. I will do this through exploration of gender development and theories, first hand accounts, and Church doctrine.
Maslow's "Hierarchy of Needs" emphasizes that safety, belonging, and esteem are foundational requirements for human stability and growth (Maslow 1943). They are psychological anchors that allow us to grow, explore, and realize our potential. Many of the challenges we face as individuals and as a society come because we lack these critical anchors. As they grapple with their religious identity, LGBTQ+ individuals appear to lack these anchors, resulting in a net negative experience and outcomes from their religious identity.
Safety
Evidence strongly suggests individuals who identify as LGBTQ+ are at a greater risk for poor mental health (Mustanski et al,Citation 2010), self-harm (Almeida et al., Citation 2009), and suicide (King et al., Citation 2008). While LGBTQ+ individuals are not inherently more prone to mental health problems, the social and cultural adversity they face heightens this risk (Gnan et al., Citation 2019). For instance, LGBTQ+ individuals are more likely to experience stigma and discrimination, minority stress, lack of social support, trauma, and barriers to healthcare, all of which contribute to worse mental health outcomes (Rood et al., Citation 2015).
Belonging
Thwarted belongingness occurs when an individual feels like they do not belong in a community that is important to them. This could be with family, peers, work, or a religious community (Coyne et al., 2023). An unmet need to belong, not feeling connected or cared about, is a contributor to suicidal desire (Joiner, 2009). Some research has found that higher levels of religiosity are linked to overall worse mental health outcomes for LGBTQ+ people (Miller et al., Citation 2020). This is likely because negative attitudes toward homosexuality remain strong in many conservative religious communities (Van den Akker et al., Citation 2013). Thus, while religious communities are a place of belonging for many people, LGBTQ+ individuals are more likely to face challenges in finding belonging in religion (Lefevor et al., Citation 2021).
Esteem
Perceived burdensomeness is when an individual feels that they are a burden on others and that their family or friends would be better off without them. Internalized transphobia is a possible specialized feeling of perceived burdensomeness that is highly associated with suicide attempts throughout one’s life (Marshall et al., Citation 2016).
It is painful when you perceive oneself as ineffective. It is even worse and dangerous to perceive oneself as so ineffective that loved ones are threatened and burdened. This is among the strongest sources of all for the desire of suicide. They perceive that this ineffectiveness that negatively affects everyone is stable and permanents (Joiner, 2009).
These sources show the relevance of this issue, but it is not a hopeless cause. There really is a problem but this doesn't always have to be the case. Some individuals have shared that their religious identity helps them with their sexual identity exploration. Some have a positive experience coming closer to Christ. There are many people within religious communities that identify as LGBTQ+, and some research has investigated how religion can provide positive support for these individuals. Indeed, a recent meta-analysis found that R/S were generally protective for LGBTQ+ individuals on the whole (Lefevor et al., Citation 2021). For example, some LGBTQ+ people reported that a relationship with God gave them the strength to explore their sexual identity, to find meaning in life, to cope with LGBTQ-related discrimination, and to forgive others (Rosenkrantz et al., Citation 2016). Despite these potential R/S benefits, little research has examined how religious communities can foster belonging for LGBTQ+ individuals (Coyne et al., 2023).
Belonging says that the people around me understand and accept me.
Belonging is created when we have each others backs, face problems together, minimize prejudices and assumptions
Belonging means letting go of labels, lending a listening ear and showing empathy.
Belonging is created when we confront our own prejudices.
I feel belonging when others see beyond the surface and I know I am not alone. I feel belonging knowing that I am needed.
The Savior Himself didn't belong. He was a "man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not" (Mosiah 14:3). The Savior lived on the margins.
We create belonging by creating a safe space and open discussions.
I feel belonging through food.
Belonging is a need and affects the whole person.
I feel belonging through genuine friendships and efforts to connect.
It takes courage to create belonging.
" For behold, are we not all beggars? Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God..." (Mosiah 4:19). We are all just different kinds of beggars.
"For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one body, being many, are one body: so also is Christ" (1 Corinthians 12:13). We each have different roles in the body of Christ.
Belonging is created when we find common ground with everyone, be authentic, and develop humility.
Belonging is created when we help others realize their potential and treat others like Gods children. Knowing your potential gives one purpose.
Belonging is created when one ventures to the margins and make an effort to know the individual
Respect and care go both ways. I feel belonging when I a, validated and accepted for who I am.
I feel belonging when people reach out to me that don't have the obligation to
" thou shalt not press a stranger: for ye know the heart of a stranger" ( Exodus 23:9).
I feel belonging when people show interest in me.
" True belonging doesn't require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are." - Brenè Brown, Braving the Wilderness
Belonging means feeling safe being yourself.
Belonging is to be seen, heard, and loved, rather than tolerated.You are given a safe place to express yourself and your choices.
I feel belonging when I feel equal opportunity as everyone else.
Belonging is created when you are welcomed and embraced because of your differences, not in spite of them.
Fitting in is a matter of similarity, belonging is a matter of acceptance.
There is a difference between welcoming and belonging
Belonging is being a needed member of the community and wanted.
Belonging is more permanent than fitting in.
Fitting in is making others feel comfortable. Belonging is feeling comfortable being yourself.
Come and Belong
These are insights compiled from over 50 young adults trying to explain what it means to belong and how to build bridges of connection. A majority of this survey population comes from students at Brigham Young University but includes individuals of different genders, sexual orientations, academic status, places of origin, and ethnic backgrounds.
Doctrine of the Matter
How to Know if it's an official church teaching (Sweat, 2023):
1. Is it taught repeatedly in the scriptures?
2. Is there a united statement from the first presidency and quorum of the 12 apostles?
3. Is it consistently taught by general authorities and officers of the church, acting in their official capacity?
4. Is it found in recent church publications or statements?
Before anything, we need a definition of doctrine. There are a few different types of doctrine: core doctrine, supportive doctrine, policy doctrine, and esoteric doctrine (Sweat, 2023). When we explore the doctrine of the matter, be aware that some of these sources may not be core doctrine. Some aspects of this topic are policy or esoteric doctrine.
General Handbook of the Church
38.6.15
The Church encourages families and members to reach out with sensitivity, love, and respect to persons who are attracted to others of the same sex. The Church also promotes understanding in society at large that reflects its teachings about kindness, inclusiveness, love for others, and respect for all human beings. The Feeling same-sex attraction is not a sin. Members who have these feelings and do not pursue or act on them are living in accordance with Heavenly Father’s plan for His children and with Church doctrine. Leaders support and encourage them in their resolve to live according to the commandments of the Lord. Members with these feelings may receive Church callings, have temple recommends, and receive temple ordinances if they are worthy. Male Church members may receive and exercise the priesthood (2024).
Russell M. Nelson
President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
"Because we feel the depth of God’s love for His children, we care deeply about every child of God, regardless of age, personal circumstances, gender, sexual orientation, or other unique challenges" (Nelson, 2021).
Liahona Article
"Belonging in The Church Through the Lens of Infertility" by Jodi King
“In the Church, there are widowed, divorced, and single members; those with family members who have fallen away from the gospel; people with chronic illnesses or financial struggles; members who experience same-sex attraction; members working to overcome addictions or doubts; recent converts; new move-ins; empty-nesters; and the list goes on and on. … “The Savior invites us to come unto Him—no matter our circumstances. We come to church to renew our covenants, to increase our faith, to find peace, and to do as He did perfectly in His life—minister to others who feel like they don’t belong" (King, 2020).
Family Proclamation to the World
We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.
All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose (1995).
M. Russell Ballard
Quorum of the Twelve Apostles
We need to listen to and understand what our LGBT brothers and sisters are feeling and experiencing. Certainly we must do better than we have done in the past so that all members feel they have a spiritual home where there brothers and sisters love them and where they have a place to worship and serve the Lord (Ballard, 2014).
Scripture
Moses 7
28 And it came to pass that the God of heaven looked upon the residue of the people, and he wept; and Enoch bore record of it, saying: How is it that the heavens weep, and shed forth their tears as the rain upon the mountains?
29 And Enoch said unto the Lord: How is it that thou canst weep, seeing thou art holy, and from all eternity to all eternity?
32 The Lord said unto Enoch:...
33 And unto thy brethren have I said, and also given commandment, that they should love one another, and that they should choose me, their Father; but behold, they are without affection, and they hate their own blood;
Building Bridges of Connection
So what can I do? A scholarly article focused their study on The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Interviewees shared a variety of practices that they felt fostered belonging. These are concrete recommendations for what can be done, but this is not a one size fits all. Being honest to yourself while putting forth an honest effort to understand is all that is asked. There were five main themes with several subthemes that were found in the results. The most common practice shared by the majority (89%) of participants was affirming and supportive language, followed by physical acts of belonging (55%), listening (36%), events (28%), and safety signals (22%). Each is expounded upon and examples are given for each relevant theme (Coyne et al., 2023).
Physical Acts
"Space and affection. Giving hugs, sitting by them at church, serving" (Coyne et al., 2023).
Safety Signals
"Interviewees described how these small signals helped them feel like they belonged and were not alone in their religious community. Safety signals can be anything, but participants often mentioned that when they saw another congregation member wear a rainbow pin or other rainbow-themed marker, they considered it a safety signal. One of these ways involved displaying a safety symbol, such as a rainbow pin, necklace, or bracelet. Some talked about others displaying an “I’ll walk with you” sticker, a reference to a beloved Primary children’s song about inclusivity" (Coyne et al., 2023).
Other- Stand up and speak out
stand up for the LGBTQ+ community when something hurtful or wrong is said in a class, over the pulpit, or in a family context (Coyne et al., 2023).
Listening
"One of the best ways to increase feelings of belonging. Participants shared that they felt a sense of belonging when others were willing to hear their perspective, even if the other people disagreed. Other participants talked about feeling like they belonged when they were asked to share their voice/story, such as being asked to speak in church, teach a class, or consult with leadership on how to increase belongingness in their ward. Church members can express a genuine desire to learn what it is like to be an LGBTQ+ member of the Church, specifically asking questions about how to help these members feel comfortable, even if they do not agree with what the person is saying" (Coyne et al., 2023).
Other- Respecting Boundaries
Respecting the boundaries they had set helped them feel loved and accepted. For example, if an individual told a Church member that they needed a break from church for a while and then the Church member respected that boundary by not trying to persuade them to return, this fostered a greater sense of belonging and acceptance. Respecting boundaries also included respecting another person’s choice of pronouns. This was seen as a low-cost behavior, but one that had a huge impact on belongingness (Coyne et al., 2023).
Affirming and Supportive Language
"Accepting individuals as human beings and fostering inclusivity. Their words were compassionate, kind, loving, and accepting instead of harsh. Our participants described the leaders who helped them feel like they belonged as people, that accepted them as children of God without judgment"(Coyne et al., 2023).
Events
"Many individuals talked about feeling supported when others attended important events. This was often in the context of a celebration, such as a wedding or a birthday party. Participants reported that family and Church friends’ attendance at these events helped them feel like they mattered and belonged. Many individuals mentioned how impactful it was to be invited to social events, both Church and non-Church related" (Coyne et al., 2023).
Resources
"Good inspiration is based upon good information" (Nelson, 2018). This is an issue we should include the Lord in, and study by faith the best books. Here are additional resources to help you form your own understanding.
References
38. church policies and Guidelines. 38. (2024, August 1). https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/general
handbook/38-church-policies-and-guidelines?lang=eng#title_number109
Almeida, J., Johnson, R. M., Corliss, H. L., Molnar, B. E., & Azrael, D. (2009). Emotional distress among LGBT youth: The
influence of perceived discrimination based on sexual orientation. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 38(7), 1001–1014. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10964-009-9397-9
Church of Jesus Christ | Come Unto Christ. (n.d.). Welcome | ComeUntoChrist.org. YouTube.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUfhknjT7do
Coyne, S. M., Christensen Duerden, C., Sheppard, J. A., Ashby, S., Van Alfen, M., Harris, H., Schilaty, B., Hunt, Q.,
Shawcroft, J., Gale, M., & Graver, H. (2023). “I’ll walk with you”: LGBTQ+ individuals and religious belonging. Journal of Homosexuality, 71(11), 2571–2593. https://doi.org/10.1080/00918369.2023.2246617
Fisher, B. (2022, March 23). Why “all-in” LGBT+/SSA saints are so reluctant to speak up. Public Square Magazine.
A gay Mormon’s approach to faith, family, and discipleship - an interview with Tom Christofferson. Faith Matters. (2024,
October 26). https://faithmatters.org/faith-family-and-discipleship-as-a-gay-mormon-an-interview-with-tom-christofferson/
Holland, E. J. R. (2012, January 1). Israel, Israel, god is calling. Homepage - The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Joiner, T. (2009). Why people die by suicide. Harvard University Press.
King, J. (2020, March). Belonging in the church through the lens of infertility. Liahona, 48–49.
King, M., Semlyen, J., Tai, S. S., Killaspy, H., Osborn, D., Popelyuk, D., & Nazareth, I. (2008). A systematic review of mental
disorder, suicide, and deliberate self harm in lesbian, gay and bisexual people. BMC Psychiatry, 8(1). https://doi.org/10.1186/1471-244x-8-70
Lefevor, G. T., McGraw, J. S., & Skidmore, S. J. (2021). Suicidal ideation among active and nonactive/former latter‐day saint
sexual minorities. Journal of Community Psychology, 50(1), 445–464. https://doi.org/10.1002/jcop.22591
Mansfield, T. (2023, December 20). Opinion: Balancing the tensions of our Latter-day saint and LGBTQ conversations.
Marshall, E., Claes, L., Bouman, W. P., Witcomb, G. L., & Arcelus, J. (2018). Non-suicidal self-injury and suicidality in Trans
people: A systematic review of the literature. Gender Dysphoria and Gender Incongruence, 70–81. https://doi.org/10.4324/9781315446806-13
Maslow, A. H. (1943). A dynamic theory of human motivation. Understanding Human Motivation., 26–47.
https://doi.org/10.1037/11305-004
Miller, K. K., Watson, R. J., & Eisenberg, M. E. (2020). The intersection of family acceptance and religion on the mental
health of LGBTQ youth. Annals of LGBTQ Public and Population Health, 1(1), 27–42. https://doi.org/10.1891/lgbtq.2019-0005
Mustanski, B. S., Garofalo, R., & Emerson, E. M. (2010). Mental health disorders, psychological distress, and suicidality in a
diverse sample of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and Transgender Youths. American Journal of Public Health, 100(12), 2426–2432. https://doi.org/10.2105/ajph.2009.178319
Nelson President of the Church, R. M. (2018, April 1). Revelation for the church, Revelation for our lives. Homepage - The
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2018/04/revelation-for-the-church-revelation-for-our-lives?lang=eng#p13
Nelson, R. M. (2021, December 8). The Love and laws of god. BYU Speeches. https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/russell-m
nelson/love-laws-god/
Pearson, C. L., & Nibley, R. N. (1939). I’ll walk with you. Homepage - The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/childrens-songbook/ill-walk-with-you?lang=eng
Rogers, A. (2024). Gender Development in Families. Provo, Utah ; Brigham Young University.
Rood, B. A., Puckett, J. A., Pantalone, D. W., & Bradford, J. B. (2015). Predictors of suicidal ideation in a statewide sample of
transgender individuals. LGBT Health, 2(3), 270–275. https://doi.org/10.1089/lgbt.2013.0048
Schilaty, B. (2021). A walk in my shoes: Questions I’m often asked as a gay latter-day saint. Deseret Book.
Steinberg, L. (2017). Adolescence (11th ed.). New York: McGraw-Hill Education.
Sweat, A. (2023, September). Evaluating Doctrine and Sources. Foundations of the Restoration. Provo; Brigham Young
University.
van den Akker, H., van der Ploeg, R., & Scheepers, P. (2012). Disapproval of homosexuality: Comparative research on
individual and national determinants of disapproval of homosexuality in 20 European countries. International Journal of Public Opinion Research, 25(1), 64–86. https://doi.org/10.1093/ijpor/edr058