Philosophy and Application

Things to Remember

• Before you can marry someone you must have a deep and abiding friendship. In Tammy's own words," If you don't want to marry your bestfriend you're a freaking idiot" (Hill, 2023). There is so much pressure on dating and marriage but really we just need to make friends. Keep physical relationships off the table and build emotional connections (Hill, 2023).

• You need to risk a little and be matched to create emotional intimacy. This means being vulnerable and moving past the comfortable, surface level conversations so that a bond can be formed (Hill, 2023). Are you willing to risk a little to make a good friend?

• comparing dating to a fishing, you need to stop fishing with a pole; reeling one fish in at a time. start fishing with nets. There is no need to put pressure on being in a relationship and exclusively dating, just make friendships (Hill, 2023).

• Get noticed in good ways. Often in my life I wondered if others could see past my physical appearance, something I hardly had control over. I put so much effort into my testimony, into my studies, and into my passionate hobbies, but at times I wondered if others could see my efforts. That is what it means to be noticed in good ways. Catch someone's attention by always serving, by being kind, or by being dedicated to your why (Hill, 2023).

• Attraction is not the determining factor in making a friend. Don't walk into a place already decided who you aren't interested in getting to know (Hill, 2023). 

• It is not okay to play with others feelings. Every skill and principle that is learned for dating and courtship should only be used in a genuine manner. Going on lots of dates with lots of people is not playing with others emotions, but using these skills with no real intent is (Hill, 2023).

• If you are in a long distance relationship a great peace of advice is to read a book together. Then when you are able to talk to each other you will have something to share and learn from (Hill, 2023).

• You must learn to thrive alone before you can thrive in a relationship. Thriving includes our mind, body, and spirit. Our bodies need vigorous exercise, adequate water and sleep, and a variety of nutrition. Our spirits need constant nourishment from the good word of God and a focus on Jesus Christ. Our mind needs consistent connections to reality and stimulus of growth and joy, which comes from living a life aligned with our why (Hill, 2023).

• Everyone could use another good friend. Never stop a generous thought or a kind word because you don't think the person would be interested (Hill, 2023). 

• Marriage is not about what is in the best interest of the individual, it is about the best interest of the whole. Decisions should be made while considering the effects on both spouses and the children (Hill, 2023). This is one application of having the hearts of the children and the fathers turning to each other ( Malachi 4:6).

• We are suppose to help each other get back to heaven. This is why building relationships are important (Hill, 2023).

• You have a responsibility to understand the principles of marriage and to defend them. God has given us his law of marriage, it is our responsibility to seek truth and understanding (Hill, 2023).

• If you still have to develop a desire to be married, look at yourself with compassion. Look at your life from a higher perspective and ponder the decisions you can make right now that you will be eternally grateful for (Hill, 2023).

• Honor transitional characters. Generational conflicts can be ended by an individual who can absorb harmful behaviors and not pass them on (Hill, 2023).

• All we are trying to do is shift in the direction of health. Healthy relationships with ourselves and others. We aren't looking for perfection, just progress (Hill, 2023).

• You have to risk in order to learn to become. You can not change by just talking about something, or taking the easy road. You will have to do the uncomfortable, you must give. Only then will you be able to become something more (Hill, 2023).

• Someone's name is the most important word in the world to them. Make an effort to learn peoples names and use them in conversations to show others you care (Hill, 2023).

• To show someone you are attracted to them there are three main tools to use: Animation, closeness, and touch. The closeness should be about a foot apart, and the safest place to touch is the elbow (Hill, 2023).

• We all fit in Gods kingdom. We can continually pray for the prophet to receive revelation and for our own revelation to understand how this statement is true (Hill, 2023).

• " What would Jesus Christ do if he was walking across campus" (Hill, 2023). As we go place to place we should not have our phones out or air pods in, we should make eye contact with everyone ( try this and you will see how strange we are as you have to fight the urge to look anywhere but the person), we should smile, say hi, ask questions, and be a friend (Hill, 2023).